I must admit, for as long as I can remember, I have been smitten by attractive, intelligent and powerful women. There was always that certain teacher, den mother (yes, incredible as it may seem, especially to me, I was a cub scout,) librarian or nurse (this was pre-second wave feminism, and there was a dearth of women doctors, hence their omission on my list) who activated a clarion call to my burgeoning hormones. I thought from time to time I would pay homage to some of them, and who better to start with than that lady who makes the word Progressive sound like a mating call- the one- the only- Rachel Maddow!

Is it her towering height? Her preternaturally long fingers? Her Modigliani neck; her incessant and completely incongruous girlish giggles? Her dark eyes- her brazenly progressive politics?

Is it her lesbianism, making her infinitely unobtainable? Is it the knowledge that, if for some inexplicable reason she deviated from her norm for a day, an hour, even a few minutes, and we somehow, through some fluke, were to couple, that she would destroy me- that within two minutes into foreplay, she’d break every bone in my body? That one sharp contraction of her thigh adductors would be like the Heimlich Maneuver applied to my entire body, and all of my internal organs would jettison out through my mouth in one fell swoop?

Whatever the Hell it is, Rachel Maddow is HOT, HOT HOT!!