Well, it looks like the light at the end of the tunnel has gone dark. Perhaps it was illusory, a mirage of hope all along. California has seen the enemy’s resurgence and has declared a strategic retreat. It’s March again! My least favorite month under the best of circumstances- March, that blanched, almost grey, no longer Winter but not quite Spring climatic No Man’s Land. Regression. None of us should be surprised, as there was nothing in the Covid-19 stats to warrant the stampede back to the good old days, and the contempt for masks and distancing was a temptation the Fates could hardly refuse. Darwin didn’t know the half of it.
But it’s not all bad. That imposter- that purveyor of fake science, Dr. Anthony Fauci, is finally being outed as the Deep State shill that he is and the president is now getting legitimate information regarding all things Covid by the Nobel Laureate Chuck Woolery, who honed his analytical skills on infectious diseases when he hosted “Love Connection,”and then matriculated to the University Of Blue -Emu Pain Relieving Cream, where he remains as a Pitchman Emeritus. Woolery contends that the CDC and the Democrats are lying about the severity of the pandemic in order to destroy the economy and defeat Trump in November. His source? The same source that all great men of science rely on- a little bird tweeting in his ear. And Peter Navarro, Trump’s trade advisor and another pillar of science and reason, is adamant that Beijing is responsible for the pandemic. They have always been out to get us. Dr. Navarro is convinced that Chinese Communists deliberately sent hundreds of thousands of infected Chinese Nationals to our shores to spread the deadly virus, like we once upon a time deliberately gave smallpox infested blankets to the Native Americans, and, dog gone it, the president seems to take him seriously.
In a recent interview Trump had declared that 99% of Covid-19 cases are harmless. He has also inferred, or so it seems, we are experiencing an explosion of new cases each day (over 60,000) because we are testing too much. Does that mean that if we stopped testing there would be no more virus? There is a certain classic philosophical ring to that, like the old chestnut, “If a tree falls in the forest and no-one is around to hear it, did it make a sound?” It’s reassuring that we have a Philosopher Prince at the helm, a Plato of Plutocrats. Or perhaps, more appropriately, a fantasist. The virus will one day go away, like magic. It will burn off in the Summer.
Or, a miracle cure may be just around the corner. We never really gave Lysol a fair chance. Or perhaps Lysol, a great big chug of it, with a Blue-Emu Pain relieving Cream chaser.