At what point did it happen? Was it when I wandered into the kitchen at 3:00 A.M. and opened the refrigerator? When I stumbled stepping out of the shower? Or possibly when I took a wrong turn and wound up on a dark, eerie dead end? Wherever or whenever it happened, I’ve come to the grim realization that I have slipped into a wormhole and entered a parallel universe.
A common tenet within parallel universe lore is that everything is identical to the home universe except for one thing. And I encountered that one thing the other night when I turned on the t.v. and was smacked in the kisser by the RNC convention.
In this alternate universe Joe Biden is the incumbent president. During the last four years everything has gone to hell in a handbasket. A global pandemic of historic proportion has descended and because of Biden’s bumbling the U.S. has incurred over 20% of the world’s deaths while having only 4% of the world’s population. Do in large part to Biden’s fiddling while Rome burns and his inability to extricate himself from the golf course, the pandemic has tanked the economy. Biden’s aggressive trade wars and absurd tariffs have devastated the small farmers, and his boneheaded denial of global warming has hastened the age of endless floods and endless fires. His dog whistle encouragement of White supremacy and embracing of idiot Quanon conspiracy theories has created a national division not seen since the Civil War. And his contempt for science and facts approaches the Medieval. As he marginalizes Dr. Fauci, he treats with deference witch doctors who promote snake oil covid-19 remedies and theories of disease transmitted by succubi and sex demons.
Under the Biden regime a new unarmed Black man killed by White police has become a de rigueur nightly news feature as the body count mounts and the names and faces fade into a tragic blend. Civil unrest has become systemic as Biden paints with a broad brush lumping the majority peaceful protestors with the relatively few looters and arsonists. Chaos and mayhem are spreading like a, well, like a virus. Marauding hordes of rapacious sex-crazed Antifa and Ms-13 anarchists move, inexorably, toward the suburbs where vulnerable White suburban housewives await a fate worse than death; a fate in which their pristine loins will be torn asunder by the primordial savagery of the hordes led by the demoniacal Corey Booker!
All of this has transpired or will transpire under Biden’s reign of terror. If reelected our cherished democracy will smolder, then extinguish on the ash heap of history.
Wait! I’m not in a parallel universe. Trump is the incumbent, not Biden. The Donald has been demonizing his own first term as if he were not at the helm, but a helpless bystander. Yet he is bloviating as if it is all Biden’s fault.
No one will buy it. No one could possibly be that stupid.